I’m participating in NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month). I’m writing a poem a day for the month of April and posting it here on my blog to share. Go to NaPoWriMo.net for more details and to view many more participating poets.
Out of Control
Don’t want to feel so numb the pain
I’m dull and dumb
Can’t feel a thing
Cut myself for control
Dumb and numb, a hollow mind
Thrills and stunts boosts adrenaline
To feel something, anything
What have I to lose?
More than I know or think
View my NaPoWriMo 2023 page for all poems I’ve written for National Poetry Writing Month.
A friend of mine commented on this poem over on Facebook: “What I find most interesting and perhaps it’s two sides of the same coin: anxiety and depression, but anxiety seems to want to numb and depression seems to want to feel. I’ve noticed that some people seem to use substance (drugs, alcohol, food) to numb and adrenaline (cutting, sex, reckless behavior) for depression. It all brings forth curiosity and compassion.” Sage Justice (listen to more of her wisdom on Sage Words Podcast)
I responded in agreement. This poem is written from my own experience as well as those of troubled friends I’ve had in the past. For instance, I have struggled with both depression and anxiety, and behaved in a self-destructing ways. I never cut myself, but some of my high school peers did. I think many flip flop from one to the other (depression and anxiety). It’s a hard cycle to bust out of.
Help for Depression and Anxiety
I think the most important first steps for anyone seeking to help someone with anxiety, depression, or both, is to show them they are not alone and validate their feelings. Then share with them ways to get help.